Could your childhood and upbringing be affecting how successful you are in your adult life? Well the answer is yes according to this article. Several studies have shown that much of our internal programming is developed in the first 3.5 years of our life. A study published in “Child Development” demonstrated how our social skills, relationships and how successful we are can all be affected by our upbringing, even 20 or 30 years later.
So how can this be you may be wondering? Well, being a Hypnotherapist with a previous career in IT I am fascinated by the mind and how there are similarities to how a computer works. If you are familiar with a computer then the conscious mind is like the RAM, it’s where all the calculations and workings out take place. The subconscious mind is where all of your data is stored – all of your past experiences, memories and values and beliefs that you have developed over the years.
As previously mentioned many of your beliefs and values were formed when you were a child. In your early years you were very suggestible; that is you accepted things that you were told without question. This provided you with the ability to learn and learn fast. Do you remember how easy it was to believe in Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny etc.? There was no question in your mind that this was not the truth. Well the same applies to other things you were told or taught as a child. Back then you had no filter system to say what was the truth and what was not, because you had no internal reference point so you just took it all in – good or bad!
If your parents/teachers/carers told you positive things about yourself, showed you lots of love and made you feel safe & secure then the chances are that you will have developed a high self-esteem & self-worth and a feeling that this world is a safe place. If you were taught to look for the good in everything then the chances are that this has stuck with you into adulthood. If you were told you were beautiful, loved and safe as a child then you would have believed this just as easily as you would have
done when you were told that there was a Father
If your parents/teachers/carers told you negative things about yourself as a child, didn’t show you any or much love and they were always anxious and worried then there is a chance that you have low self-esteem & self-worth and a feeling that this world is not a safe place. If you were told that you were stupid, unattractive and you’d never come to anything, then again you would accept this just as easily as you would have done when you were told that there was an Easter Bunny.
All of the values and beliefs that you developed as a child are stored in your subconscious mind (also known as the unconscious mind). Some of these beliefs and experiences you can easily recall but there will be many others that you have no
recollection of. As you grow up how you determine and give meaning to your life experiences are very much dependent on this belief system. These stored beliefs can affect you through life. If your belief system is mostly positive then you will have a positive outlook on life and have positive experiences. If your belief system is a negative one then you will have a negative outlook and negative experiences. Of course you can have a mixture of positive and negative beliefs which can affect you in different ways in your life.
Of course as this report shows, how you behave in your adult life is not just down to your upbringing, it can also be down to genetic makeup or physical development. However the good news is that for those beliefs that you have formed as a child it may be possible to change them for the better, just like reprogramming a computer. If you are aware that you are not achieving your best or things are consistently not working out in your life the way you would like them to then you may need help in resolving them. A therapist can help you uncover your unconscious beliefs and help change them for the better so they don’t affect you any longer.
There are many different cognitive therapies out there that can help, including hypnotherapy, NLP, counselling, CBT etc. It’s just a case of finding a therapy and a therapist that works for you.
Why not contact me to see how I can help?